My parents looked at my sister and they have high hopes for her
My parents looked at me and they hope I'll survive the big cruel world
They didn't got a chance to go to college due to various life factors, and the kids were the 1st generation who managed to get ahead. My parents put strong emphasis on people skills, because that is what pays for me & my sister's bachelors degree. The rest is totally up to us. We were supposed to figure out how to live on our own after graduation.
They were very afraid that I couldn't get a job. In Indonesia, I would have difficulty finding jobs. I am meek & my small circle of friends are not really that powerful unlike my sis' circle.
Guess what, I've survived, and I will continue to get ahead.
How did I survive? I have to say thanks to this great country named US and the people here.
And I am grateful to have met my fiancee; which has come from a humble background too. We definitely aren't fed with silver spoons. We gotta do what we gotta do. Due to our humble backgrounds, I have my limitations, he has his limitations. But again, you have to be persistent in what you need to do. It's all in the mindset.
In Indonesia, tendency to see social status & wealth are still there. Those factors, albeit universal, are almost necessary for people to get ahead. They will look down on you if you don't have those.
In US, you can get ahead even without those prerequisites. There are lots of eccentric & poor people (that often causes controversies) allowed to be great because they were brilliant at something.
This appreciation is one of the important differences between developed nation & underdeveloped nation.
Truly, I am much more appreciated in this country rather than in Indonesia. If I were to go back to Indonesia, one thing for sure is that I'll have a slow start.
In Indonesia, I have lower status than most of the US-graduated Indonesians. Lower status means: being meek & socially awkward personally, family from a humble background (less richer & powerful), smaller & older house, average-looking and not-so-famous.
In US, I have OK status. OK status means: having regular friends, doing ok financially in personal, having steady relationship, diverse social environments and vast knowledge.
For instance, when I tried to plan my wedding by investigating what people in my circumstances already did, my mom hushed me when I mentioned one of my friend's plan."Her family is very rich. Don't compare yourself to her. She has a lot of money to burn. You have to pay your own wedding."
I always viewed Indonesians in US are equal. I still want to do so. Am I living in my own world? Is my Indonesian status among my friends lower; just as my mom hinted?
But I digress.
Point is: people are given
different talents. Some have 10, others have 5. Fight urge to compare, and just do whatever you need to do. I am blessed to be able to live in US and enjoy the great culture here, where I can be whatever I want to be with less difficulty. I will continue praying and hoping Indonesia would be the same haven for people like me.
Labels: culture shock, personal
a0z0ra @ 2:28 AM  |