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A0Z0RA   BLOGGIN
 
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Nama:Ask me! a0z0ra[at]gmail.com
Suku: Tiong Hoa
Agama: Kristen Katolik
Ras: Mongol
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Hobi: denger musik, baca macem2, nulis macem2, nongkrong bareng temen, mendalami iman Kristiani.
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    Tuesday, May 08, 2007

    We're not fooling anyone 

    I believe we all have auras
    especially when you are face to face with someone

    That's why I'm not comfortable talking in phone or chatting, sometimes
    I can't feel you
    I can't sense you
    I can't judge you (haha)

    The information that I get really is very little
    By phone, you can mask your face reaction
    By chat, you can even edit the text before you press enter

    There's a lot of censorships going on

    However, if you meet face to face, that's not the case
    Your whole existence will broadcast yourself
    Your thoughts, your upbringing, your problems, your sadness, your confusion
    Your eyes, your skins, your face, your movement, your body
    They aren't fooling anyone, that body of yours is too honest for you to be comfortable with

    The hardware react according to the software programmed
    The flesh react according to the soul inside

    "Don't judge a book by its cover" is totally true in some sense
    don't buy a book by its cover if you want a good read

    in some sense people aren't books
    they are living things, moving, breathing, talking
    it's the whole experience of being with them
    the auras, the smiles, the eyes, the sounds, the touch
    that is how we deal with them

    Why is this important?

    People move too fast, strangers bump into each other too often
    tolerance becomes the norm or chaos will form

    Sometimes you will sense people aren't really comfortable with you
    They want to shun you out of their lives and their friends

    Just tell yourself that you're ok with their feelings
    if it becomes too great, let them go and part with peace in your soul
    let God be the judge

    people don't have to adore you in all ways
    some will genuinely hate you because of reasons only Him knows
    let them be

    (you probably also genuinely hate some people because of reasons you probably don't know

    You aren't comfortable with someone, yet you tried to hide your feelings & be friendly out of tolerance
    however, I do believe that the other person can feel it
    they know no matter how hard you are trying to conceal it

    if you continued in the masquerade
    you will get very angry inside, your face will leave its mark
    the way you move, the way you divert your eyes, you are troubled

    maybe it's not love, maybe it's jealousy
    perhaps their existence threatened your quest of gaining love & respects from other people
    if that's the case, do struggle & work on it)

    In my case,
    I'm not a holy person by any mean
    Sometimes I shunned people out because I'm afraid I will hurt them
    I don't know what to do with them
    I know that I don't like them, because they threatened the love & respects
    that I can get before they come (aha! The Big Fat Jealousy)
    being with that people will only bring the bad side of me
    and I would give them a sense of rejection
    so I withdrawed myself

    Other times I shunned people out because I'm afraid I can't provide them with what they need
    Even now I'm still struggling to love Him & myself (dear God knows how hard it is to love oneself)
    how will I have time to provide love to them?
    So I take my time, I withdrawed myself from the crowd
    When the time comes, only when I'm ready I will be a blessing to people, not a curse

    may this sharing worth something
    do have peace, do pray more, forgive more, and don't forget to love yourself
    no matter how confused you are, please do have faith that you are loved for who you are by the Almighty
    He's all over you, the unique little droplet in the vastness of the Mighty Sea


    Permalink - a0z0ra @ 3:06 PM  |   0 comments

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