The way I see it, love is all we wanted.
To accumulate wealth is to accumulate love.
To accumulate friends is to accumulate love.
To accumulate knowledge is to accumulate love.
There's a universal promise from the world:
If you're rich you'll get more love
If you're popular you'll get more love
If you're smart you'll get more love
To buy a Mercedes Benz SLK, you hope that people will notice you, talk to you and thus develop further relationship with you.
To be friendly towards people, being nice & funny, you hope that people will like you, accept you, and share their life-stories with you.
To be smart and all-knowing, have a high-end degree from prestigious university, you hope that people will seek your advice and listen to you.
From birth to death human has been aching for love. Being loved makes you feel important.
Why is that so?
What is love?
Is it the amount of time people would sacrifice to listen to you?
Is it the awe inspiring looks, compliments and public recognitions that fuel you?
Or is it as simple as the amount of sexual pleasures that you will get?
The way I see it, "Success" in popular terms means you can do anything you want, and people will still love
you no matter what. That is the bottom line. I cannot twist or turn that natural drive from humans. It is there in every culture.
-- can also be found in my new blog - Personal Development by a0z0ra
a0z0ra @ 8:06 PM  |
I believe we all have auras
especially when you are face to face with someone
That's why I'm not comfortable talking in phone or chatting, sometimes
I can't feel you
I can't sense you
I can't judge you (haha)
The information that I get really is very little
By phone, you can mask your face reaction
By chat, you can even edit the text before you press enter
There's a lot of censorships going on
However, if you meet face to face, that's not the case
Your whole existence will broadcast yourself
Your thoughts, your upbringing, your problems, your sadness, your confusion
Your eyes, your skins, your face, your movement, your body
They aren't fooling anyone, that body of yours is too honest for you to be comfortable with
The hardware react according to the software programmed
The flesh react according to the soul inside
"Don't judge a book by its cover" is totally true in some sense
don't buy a book by its cover if you want a good read
in some sense people aren't books
they are living things, moving, breathing, talking
it's the whole experience of being with them
the auras, the smiles, the eyes, the sounds, the touch
that is how we deal with them
Why is this important?
People move too fast, strangers bump into each other too often
tolerance becomes the norm or chaos will form
Sometimes you will sense people aren't really comfortable with you
They want to shun you out of their lives and their friends
Just tell yourself that you're ok with their feelings
if it becomes too great, let them go and part with peace in your soul
let God be the judge
people don't have to adore you in all ways
some will genuinely hate you because of reasons only Him knows
let them be
(you probably also genuinely hate some people because of reasons you probably don't know
You aren't comfortable with someone, yet you tried to hide your feelings & be friendly out of tolerance
however, I do believe that the other person can feel it
they know no matter how hard you are trying to conceal it
if you continued in the masquerade
you will get very angry inside, your face will leave its mark
the way you move, the way you divert your eyes, you are troubled
maybe it's not love, maybe it's jealousy
perhaps their existence threatened your quest of gaining love & respects from other people
if that's the case, do struggle & work on it)
In my case,
I'm not a holy person by any mean
Sometimes I shunned people out because I'm afraid I will hurt them
I don't know what to do with them
I know that I don't like them, because they threatened the love & respects
that I can get before they come (aha! The Big Fat Jealousy)
being with that people will only bring the bad side of me
and I would give them a sense of rejection
so I withdrawed myself
Other times I shunned people out because I'm afraid I can't provide them with what they need
Even now I'm still struggling to love Him & myself (dear God knows how hard it is to love oneself)
how will I have time to provide love to them?
So I take my time, I withdrawed myself from the crowd
When the time comes, only when I'm ready I will be a blessing to people, not a curse
may this sharing worth something
do have peace, do pray more, forgive more, and don't forget to love yourself
no matter how confused you are, please do have faith that you are loved for who you are by the Almighty
He's all over you, the unique little droplet in the vastness of the Mighty Sea
a0z0ra @ 3:06 PM  |
I used to be a hypocrite,
saying God's grace and throwing curse other time,
gossiping about one's disgrace and do the same thing after that,
knowing what is right but hell,
I still do it because well,
"everyone did it too!"
well, I can't say that I'm not a hypocrite now,
perhaps I still am, but a lesser hypocrite (I hope!)
mistakes aren't forgotten easily
stupid, moronic behaviors have consequences that will haunt forever
those that only hurt me (thank God!)
and those that hurt others (dear God!)
So to become lesser evil, I practice the art of "punishment thoughts"
if I did something sinful, I imagined myself being punished by the just God pretty soon
and then, because of fear, my imagination manifested itself in the real world
Sounds too odd?
Here's the thing:
The notion of a forgiving father won't do good for my obedience training
because then I'll let myself go too easily, and I don't like it
who, in all truths, really likes to recite His words and do the opposites later on?
This method of a just God, for some reason, works perfectly for me
I know that I'll get real bad consequences later on if I do something hypocritical
Because sometimes, just sometimes, heaven is a little too far from earth for people to be obedient to the Words
it is so easy to ignore the heavenly consequences
who, in all truths, really thinks everyday that s/he will die tomorrow?
... Ok, before it gets too far I'll stop here
Hopefully this sharing will worth something
a0z0ra @ 6:41 PM  |