I've been doing great in San Diego
Last 3 months has been tremendously heavy to my mental & physical (& financial!) well-being
But everything has changed since I leave my beloved & cursed Tucson
Feeling rejected by familiar faces, persistent state of confusion & reality
It's a good judgement to get out, my downward spiral will only got worse
I need something real. I can no longer be myself over there.
Too many dramas, resentments & conflicts. Yet people still smiles at each other.
(Maybe it's just me)
I have found new faces, new attitudes, new friendships waiting to bloom
So far so good. Can feel the authencity. I'm slow to adapt though. Still in observant mode.
Traumas still exist. Healing in progress.
Yes, after all those things that happened,
eroding my esteem & bring my social-anxiousness to a new level
I've decided that I will take care of myself, 1st & for all
I can't satisfy people that I know will only hurt me again & again, I have myself to heal
So I'm sorry, I will keep my distance & not pursue further intimacy from people that is in the middle of recovery themselves
a0z0ra @ 1:02 AM  |