Love and Positive Events
She asks how do you respond when your mate tells you that she’s just been promoted, or your teenager tells you that the most beautiful girl in his class just accepted a date with him, or when your father tells you that he just made a hole-in-one, or when your best friend tells you that she just had an article accepted by the Psychological Review? Shelly divides the possible responses into the following four categories:
* Do you "react enthusiastically" (active-constructive)? "That’s the best news I’ve heard this week, and I’ll bet its just the first of many big raises you’ll get."
* Do you "point out the potential problems or down sides of the good event" (active-destructive)? "Are you sure you can handle the added responsibility?"
* Do you "say little, but convey that you are happy to hear the news" (passive-constructive)? "That’s very nice, my dear."
* Do you "seem uninterested" (passive-destructive)? "Isn’t all this rain something?"
I'm especially interested in the "active-destructive" part.
Sure, you're happy for that person, but you should remind her/him know all the possible catastrophic events that might occur, no? After all, this world is a really bad place to live. Only paranoid survives.. said one wise man.
Thus all good surprises/nice ideas get shot down way too quick. Making new business? You'll fail! Be an entrepreneur? You're crazy!
Instead of offering pure happiness & support, too much "active-destructive" comments create fear & paranoia. It's like thousands of hands keep dragging you down, unwilling to let you go outside of ordinary, unwilling to let you take the chance to succeed/failure.
a0z0ra @ 6:33 PM  |