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A0Z0RA   BLOGGIN
 
siapa?

Nama:Ask me! a0z0ra[at]gmail.com
Suku: Tiong Hoa
Agama: Kristen Katolik
Ras: Mongol
Adat-Istiadat: ikut orang tua
Hobi: denger musik, baca macem2, nulis macem2, nongkrong bareng temen, mendalami iman Kristiani.
Harusnya: pulang Indo, nulis macem2, kerja wartawan budaya, bina keluarga sejahtera, ikutan nongkrong bareng Romo Sandyawan dkk, ikut2 politik buat angkat derajat orang Tiong Hoa dalam hukum.
Ternyata: terdampar di San Diego CA USA, hedon dan hedon dan hedon...
Jadinya: merenungi hidup segan mati tak hendak dengan nulis2 blog



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    Thursday, December 22, 2005

    Good/bad news for women? We can stop having period! 

    The end of the period

    My comment:
    Recently I'm questioning back my feminist ideas. Is a genderless society good for next generation? Perhaps, in some case we might minimize killing unborn girls in China.. but what da hell is this no period thing?? So unnatural!! Betinas (Female Mammals) BLEED k? If U dont wanna bleed then be born as fish or bird. Damn weird.


    Permalink - a0z0ra @ 3:50 PM  |   0 comments

    Wednesday, December 21, 2005

    Define:Easy & Stuck up 

    Easy girl - as in my dictionary:
    1) One who is so approachable & can get close to men in less than 1-2 days
    2) One who has ideals, but throw them away to please men
    3) One who cant stand the idea of being single and happy

    Stuck up girl - as in my dictionary:
    1) One who think too much of herself & her ideals, thus ignoring (or worse - ridicule) men who make advances to her
    2) One who cannot trust anyone, cannot open up, just because she fears pain of getting too close to someone
    3) One who dare not to be different, always succumb to the group norms avoiding gossips

    Thus I declare myself as normal & somewhat in the middle. Begone u little prick of insecurity inside of me.


    Permalink - a0z0ra @ 11:07 AM  |   0 comments

    Tuesday, December 20, 2005

    Beware.. 

    .. they're planning something..


    Permalink - a0z0ra @ 11:00 AM  |   0 comments

    Monday, December 19, 2005

    Girlpower 

    GirlPower.se

    Excerpt:
    The media world is becoming increasingly sexualised and fixated on appearance. This development is everyone’s responsibility. This campaign has upset some of the companies that were pointed out.

    But that is also the intention. Without people becoming upset, there would not be any debates. Without debates, there would not be any awakening and any progress.

    My point:
    Darn it we're being fooled a lot. Photoshop is eeeviiilll.. MTV is eeeeviiilll!!!! Paris Hilton is the Deeeviiilll....

    Ok, there's nothing wrong with a girl trying to be attractive & trying to get as many possible suitors for her to choose. But deep inside, I have a feeling that there must be some line, right? Define attractive pl0x? Showing more skins? Plastic surgeries? Speak provocatively? Smoking & drinking?

    Girlz, let's define our own attractiveness. If there are millions scantily clad smoking drunk women out there who are eager to have sex with as many men as possible let's be different. Trust me, we all feel the pressure. Let's hold hands together & decided not to give in. Men & Media are EVIL (*glance!)


    Permalink - a0z0ra @ 11:12 AM  |   0 comments

    Thursday, December 15, 2005

    What a girl wants from a man 

    He who skips a beat upon first glance of her,
    certain that she is his prayers,
    fights for her love with jealousy and fear

    He who loves her truly,
    not just because she is pretty or outgoing or smart,
    but just because she is truly a human,
    with all her strengths and weaknesses,
    which are really precious to him

    He who proposes to her,
    saying that he wants her to be the mother of his children,
    be a man of his words who can always be counted on,
    fulfills his promises to take care of the family,
    through happiness & sadness

    He who tells her that she is lovely,
    after the golden years have passed,
    he holds her wrinkly hand,
    kisses her wobbly cheek,
    while sitting on a tiny garden which they grow together

    He who is clueless on how to go on living,
    after a cruel fate from God separate him from his dearest,
    thus give up on living not long after the day,
    because he longs to see her smile and hold her hands forevermore


    Permalink - a0z0ra @ 9:15 PM  |   0 comments

    She wanted to be someone's Cherie Amour 

    "My Cherie Amour, lovely as a summer's day
    My Cherie Amour, distant as the Milky Way
    My Cherie Amour, pretty little one that I adore
    You're the only girl my heart beats for
    How I wish that you were mine

    In a cafe or sometimes on a crowded street
    I've been near you, but you never notice me
    My Cherie Amour, won't you tell me how could you ignore
    That behind that little smile I wore
    How I wish that you were mine

    Maybe someday you'll see my face among the crowd
    Maybe someday I'll share your little distant cloud
    Oh, Cherie Amour, pretty little one that I adore
    You're the only girl my heart beats for
    How I wish that you were mine" (Stevie Wonder - My Cherie Amour)


    Permalink - a0z0ra @ 9:15 PM  |   0 comments

    Wednesday, December 14, 2005

    Puteri Gunung Ledang: The Movie 

    http://www.pglthemovie.com/

    Featuring: Alex Komang, Christine Hakim, Slamet Rahardjo





    Personal comment:
    Reminds me of Saur Sepuh. Aa.. nostalgic feeling.


    Permalink - a0z0ra @ 3:31 PM  |   0 comments

    Monday, December 12, 2005

    Engrish in Shanghai 

    From a restaurant menu:
    The pig picks the elder brother a cloth - 30 yuan
    France many privates - 15 yuan

    read more | digg story


    Permalink - a0z0ra @ 2:10 PM  |   0 comments

    Sunday, December 11, 2005

    The Tyranny of the Extroverts 

    The Tyranny of the Extroverts

    Excerpts:
    If "interpersonal skills" really means skills, then I can't object, but I'm afraid that in the wrong hands it means something more like "interpersonal style", and in particular it means the style of extroverts. I have the same concern about "communication skills." People have different styles; if my style isn't the same as yours, does that mean I lack skills?
    ...
    Instead of changing the more introverted engineers to make them fit into the world of extroverts, maybe we should be looking for ways to take advantage of the particular styles and abilities of introverts. And instead of trying to fix them, maybe we should be making sure that smart, interesting people who happen to be introverts get the same respect and recognition as their extroverted counterparts.


    Permalink - a0z0ra @ 11:37 AM  |   0 comments

    Friday, December 09, 2005

    What women look from men 

    1) Integrity & consistency
    Say it once and mean what you said. If you said you would be there, then BE THERE. If you said you dont like something, then DONT say that you like it in another time. No consistency = no trust. No trust = trouble in relationship.

    2) Honesty
    Enough said.

    3) Fearless & stand by his values
    Life is too short if you let fears grip you. If you live just for the sake of living you haven't grown up yet. Fight & persevere! That's what we like from men and often times try to follow them.


    Permalink - a0z0ra @ 11:08 AM  |   0 comments

    Tuesday, December 06, 2005

    The Hedonistic Imperative 

    The Hedonistic Imperative

    Excerpts:
    Two hundred years ago, before the development of potent synthetic pain-killers or surgical anaesthetics, the notion that "physical" pain could be banished from most people's lives would have seemed no less bizarre. Most of us in the developed world now take its daily absence for granted. The prospect that what we describe as "mental" pain, too, could one day be superseded is equally counter-intuitive.

    My comment:
    Um yea, wow.. imagine a world where all humans found their eternal happiness through drugs. If you are sad, that's not normal, you have to take MDMA. If you are ecstatic & so happy chatty, it's not normal, you have to take that drug. If you're not sexually active, dang it that's bizarre, take this drug.

    Afterall we eliminate physical pains through drugs too.. so why not the same thing applied for mental pains too?

    More & more companies are producing drugs to "correct" behaviors such as "Bipolar disorder", "Obsessive Compulsive" etc. Like OMG! If you have symptoms of such and such mental disease, your friends & family should take you to the Mental doctor because they care for you. They want you to get well soon. They want you to be HAPPY.. well.. like NORMAL people are happy.

    Is society these days are more & more demanding of people's behavior? Does everyone now live in fear if they are considered not normal or not cool? Thus they are trying sooo hard to "FIT IN"? Is pop culture & fashions feed on these particular fears? Sooo Disturbing! Soo many new questions!!

    To do:
    1) Define happiness & normalcy
    2) Dont judge people easily, dont raise eyebrows to people easily, dont EVER think that a person is WEIRD in an instant NOR EXCLUDE them based on your narrow understanding of what is normal

    Are you a believer? Do you believe in God's justice? If so please agree with Him on how He does things.


    Permalink - a0z0ra @ 3:11 PM  |   0 comments

    Monday, December 05, 2005

    Blue Sky and White Dove of the Desert 



    = almost heavn


    Permalink - a0z0ra @ 12:45 PM  |   0 comments

    Friday, December 02, 2005

    5uddenly 5ingle v.2 

    I told him that I still woke up like very early in the morning since that 3am incident, and I didn't know why.

    "Dont think about me too much," he said, jokingly suggesting that perhaps he is the reason.

    "Whaa.. Whaat," I'm surprised. "I dont think about you... "

    We laughed. But it's more of a nervous laugh for me. The 3am incidents dont have anything to do with him, I suppose. His statement is where the problem lies. In my imagination I feel like he knows I like him. It shows. Damn it I maybe have showed him a bit too much.

    Suddenly I remember a lengthy conversation which happened in my house not so long ago. The girls shared their past actions on what they did to their possible mates in order to keep them interested. One of them suggest that we need to keep the boy in the edge, not immediately give them answer. A bit of playing hard-to-get. The flirting game! The mind bending! The anxiety! Are you strong enough to get me? How far are you willing to go? Said the female to her possible-mate.

    The mate-selection & seduction skills are a complete mystery to me. I dont have much experience in this area. Yea, I read several books, observe behaviors, take notes when friends are flirting.. That's all in theory. In reality, I hate myself that I can be read like an open book. I cant stop or disguise myself from showing how I truly felt. The knowledge is there but it is useless.

    I dont like to play games. I dont like flirting. I dont like guessing whether this potential partner really has interest in me or he has something else in mind. I want everything to be clear immediately. Kinda impatient perhaps? I can only pray that He gives me all things that I need. Right at that time suddenly I feel like being true to myself aka let hell be hell. I may as well broke the rules, here goes.

    So I said to him "Stop teasing me!" Thus begin the Big Talk (TM).


    Permalink - a0z0ra @ 11:18 PM  |   0 comments

    You are the Predicate 

    As long as I live I will trust in His justice whenever He sees fit. Meanwhile I will try my best not to judge people so easily.

    Nowadays more & more people demand perfection from everything. Sometimes I demand perfection too; from my parents, from my sister, from my friends, from anyone I meet on the street. I forgot that to err is human.

    Focus more on being a good neighbor instead of seeing people as your neighbors. Focus more on being a good friend instead of treating people as your friends. Dont treat yourself as the center of everything, instead treat every1 around u as if they'r the center of everything.

    S-P-O any1? If you are truly the pen, then the subject is God. U're the Predicate. The Object is everyone around you.

    Meanwhile, dont get caught up in the chaos storm. Rest assured that u r chained to the Rock that u may stay strong. Say this several times to yourself: I will not be afraid. I will not succumb my ideals to please people, and this too is for their greater goods.


    Permalink - a0z0ra @ 10:59 AM  |   0 comments

    Thursday, December 01, 2005

    Mediocre huh 

    define:Mediocre
    # moderate to inferior in quality; "they improved the quality from mediocre to above average"
    # average: lacking exceptional quality or ability; "a novel of average merit"; "only a fair performance of the sonata"; "in fair health"; "the caliber of the students has gone from mediocre to above average"; "the performance was middling at best"
    # poor to middling in quality; "there have been good and mediocre and bad artists"
    wordnet.princeton.edu/perl/webwn

    I always want to be on Top ever since I remember. I want to be #1, I dont want to be average. I want everyone to see that I'm above average. If I cannot compete in female-related genes (good looks especially), I want to compete in other skills: intelligence, religious life (yep, even this), artistic ability, creativity.

    But in high school I discovered that I cannot always be on Top. There are people who are UNBELIEVABLE smart (Febi), pretty (Gadis), religious (Dora) & creative (Bajaj). And worse, some of them have it ALL: eg. Dora is a VERY pretty, friendly, smart & religious girl. She got a scholarship on third year of high school to Aussie. Alas, there are people I knew in middle school I considered below me, in high school they fared MUCH better (Erna, Ardelia). Extreme shocks you may say. Probably one of the reasons I hate my high school lol.

    I was so afraid that they would laugh at me because now they see me as mediocre. Not very smart, not very creative, not very pretty. Just mediocre. Well I have to do something! Thus I put extreme effort in my extracurricular activity: Drama. In my third year I was casted as Bottom in our Bali version of Midsummers night dream. I practiced at home frequently. I memorized the scripts, I practiced the voice, I meditated the character, and so on.

    Then at the D day I feel so nervous and excited at the same time. The adrenaline! After like almost 1 1/2 year of hard practices... It was sooo like a dream, only better. The satisfaction! The audience, +-200, really enjoy my performance. The attentions! The thunderous applause! Oh how I feel so appreaciated back then. I feel so not mediocre. After all, how many people can do what I did huh?

    That is back in high school. Now? Friendster have this ugly side effect for me. I'm very competitive you know, and recently I discovered more and more ex-classmates seems to have their life all figured out. Some of them are married already, some of them work in large company, some of them got their master's degree already... got scholarship to prestige places... enough things to make my competitive blood burst. I feel soo mediocre now!

    I dont want to be mediocre. I want my name to be listed on history book. I want everyone to look at me in awe. But then, who am I to decide whether I'm going to succeed? Lots of people have tried, they walk the path, they contemplate, they pray a lot.. yet extremely few persons made it to the top. Definitely there is that GOD factor playing in the field. I gotta accept that fact. I will walk the path, meditate on success, pray a lot.. but on top of those I have to let Da Man take care of the rest. Having ambission is okay, I guess, but having a stress life trying not to be mediocre is not really a satisfying life in the end. If being mediocre is my calling, I'll pray for the strength to accept it.


    Permalink - a0z0ra @ 11:46 AM  |   0 comments

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