Nama:Ask me! a0z0ra[at]gmail.com
Suku: Tiong Hoa
Agama: Kristen Katolik
Ras: Mongol
Adat-Istiadat: ikut orang tua
Hobi: denger musik, baca macem2, nulis macem2, nongkrong bareng temen, mendalami iman Kristiani.
Harusnya: pulang Indo, nulis macem2, kerja wartawan budaya, bina keluarga sejahtera, ikutan nongkrong bareng Romo Sandyawan dkk, ikut2 politik buat angkat derajat orang Tiong Hoa dalam hukum.
Ternyata: terdampar di San Diego CA USA, hedon dan hedon dan hedon...
Jadinya: merenungi hidup segan mati tak hendak dengan nulis2 blog

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    Tuesday, September 30, 2003

    Biarlah mawar itu layu (tapi jangan samakan cinta dengan mawar itu) 

    Baru beberapa hari si cantik menggoda ruangan
    dan si cantik layu

    Dulu mekar mengundang, merengut layu sekarang

    Tak berani aku samakan cinta dengan si cantik
    Karena tak mau aku dapatkan cinta seperti si cantik

    Indah sesaat, mati belakangan

    Biar saja cinta tidak menggoda seperti bunga
    jika cinta itu bisa mekar selamanya!

    Permalink - a0z0ra @ 11:43 PM  |   0 comments

    Monday, September 29, 2003

    Kancil aka Kendaraan Kecil 

    Hmm.. kira-kira bisa gak muat 4 orang?

    Permalink - a0z0ra @ 12:50 AM  |   0 comments

    Sunday, September 28, 2003

    Powerful IM ! Rate: 5 out of 5 

    Friday, September 26, 2003

    Bad Religion American Jesus 

    Bad Religion - American Jesus

    I don't need to be a global citizen
    Because i'm blessed by nationality
    I'm member of a growing populace
    We enforce our popularity
    There are things that
    Seem to pull us under
    And there are things
    That drag us down
    But there's a power
    And a vital presence
    Thats lurking all around
    We've got the american Jesus
    See him on the interstate
    We've got the american Jesus
    He helped build the
    President's estate
    I feel sorry
    For the earth's population
    'cuz so few
    Live in the U. S. A.
    At least the foreigners
    Can copy our morality
    They can visit but they cannot stay
    Only precious few
    Can garner the prosperity
    It makes us walk
    With renewed confidence
    We've got a place to go when we die
    And the architect resides right here
    We've got the american Jesus
    Overwhelming millions every day
    (exercising his authority)
    He's the farmers barren fields
    The force the army wields
    The expession in the faces
    Of the starving children
    The power of the man
    He's the fuel that drives the clan
    He's the motive and conscience
    Of the murderer
    He's the preacher on t. v.
    The false sincerity
    The form letter that's written
    By the big computers
    He's the nuclear bombs
    And the kids with no moms
    And i'm fearful that
    He's inside me"

    Permalink - a0z0ra @ 1:08 PM  |   0 comments

    Design Blog baru!!! 

    Dasar kurang kerjaan...

    Permalink - a0z0ra @ 1:27 AM  |   0 comments

    Wednesday, September 24, 2003

    The Carpenters CD 

    A proven fact:

    Beli The Carpenters: Singles 1969-1981 (Remastered) pasti gak bakalan nyesel.

    Karen's voice is absolutely amazing! Richard's compositions are excellent! Di mana lagi jaman sekarang bisa denger lagu2 pop yang kayak gini?

    Pengalaman ini menjelaskan mengapa saya alergi sama pop jaman sekarang... hmm..

    Permalink - a0z0ra @ 10:34 PM  |   0 comments

    Monday, September 22, 2003


    Saya sudah tau dari dulu ttg dia ada di apartment yang sama sejak saya pindahan. Saya juga sebenernya tau bahwa dia lumayan sendirian, dan mungkin kesepian dan butuh teman bicara.

    Tapi saya ada Andrew ada temen-temen ICF ada temen-temen Mudika dan saya hedon dalam kesenangan saya sendiri.

    Dan ketika Andrew menghilang dan saya punya waktu luang sejak summer kemaren, mulai ada keinginan untuk ikut menyertakan dia dalam acara kebersamaan kita. Tapi untuk ngajak-ngajak saya selalu rasa enggan, takut dengan kata orang dan gosip dan gosip.

    Tapi entah mengapa pikiran untuk ngajak dia ikut2 main badminton etc selalu timbul, dari mana dari siapa saya kurang ngerti. Dan entah mengapa saya bisa berani juga. Dan sejak saat itu saya baru mulai ada keinginan untuk lebih kenal dia. Tapi keengganan itu terus ada. Biasa, kaku rasa orang introvert. Ego dan ego dan ego dan takut gosip.

    Tiba-tiba Tuhan cabut semua kemungkinan selanjutnya. Dan seluruh kesempatan yang terlewati oleh saya (karena ego dan rasa enggan) tiba-tiba menjotos saya persis di muka.

    You know, you should have done that.

    God, Forgive me please.

    Permalink - a0z0ra @ 8:35 PM  |   0 comments

    Sunday, September 21, 2003

    Aceh apa kabar? 

    Dari Kompas.com:

    "...pasukan TNI Yonif-621 terlibat kontak senjata dengan GAM di Desa Wonosari Kecamatan Pulo Tiga, Aceh Tamiang, akibatnya seorang pemberontak tewas dan disita sepucuk M-16, lima magazen M-16, 210 butir amunisi, satu stel PDL loreng serta tiga kilogram susu."

    Tiga kilogram susu.

    Let us pray for Aceh, my blogger friends.

    Permalink - a0z0ra @ 8:27 PM  |   0 comments

    Friday, September 19, 2003

    Offensive war manga story 

    As taken from the site,

    "...This is a short little one-shot made to commemorate the release of the SaiKano animated series. Let me warn you all right now that this contains (non-explicit) rape, and lots of blood, so if you're easily offended, please don't read it and complain to me that "It scarred me for life and I'm gonna sue you!" Of course, it is also a very well done little war story, and I recommend it as highly as I do SaiKano. I almost forgot, this has nothing to do with either the plot or characters of SaiKano, it is simply a little war story..."


    I believe in no war. No war at all. There is no reason for any war.

    Permalink - a0z0ra @ 4:47 PM  |   0 comments

    Puisi2 Cecil Mariani 

    Dari namanya, kok seperti orang Tiong Hoa ya? Mungkin saya salah. Anyway, dia berada di depan dan saya akan mengejar bayangannya.

    Click here:

    ketuklah sebelum masuk

    Permalink - a0z0ra @ 1:02 PM  |   0 comments

    Wednesday, September 17, 2003

    Must C !!! 

    Christina the Astonishing, my babtism name 

    1150 at Brusthem near Liege, Belgium

    Born to a peasant family, orphaned as a child, and raised by two older sisters. At age 21, she experienced a severe seizure of what may have been epilepsy. It was so severe as to be cateleptic, and she was thought to have died. During her funeral Mass, she suddenly recovered, and levitated to the roof of the church. Ordered down by the priest, she landed on the altar and stated that she had been to hell, purgatory, and heaven, and had been returned to earth with a ministry to pray for souls in purgatory.

    Her life from that point became a series of strange incidents cataloged by a Thomas de Cantimpré, Dominican professor of theology at Louvain who was a contemporary recorded his information by interviewin witnesses, and by Cardinal Jacques de Vitny who knew her personally. She exhibited both unusual traits and abilities. For example, she could not stand the odor of other people because she could smell the sin in them, and would climb trees or buildings, hide in ovens or cupboards, or simply levitate to avoid contact. She lived in a way that was considered poverty even in the 13th century, sleeping on rocks, wearing rags, begging, and eating what came to hand. She would roll in fire or handle it without harm, stand in freezing water in the winter for hours, spend long periods in tombs, or allow herself to be dragged under water by a mill wheel, though she never sustained injury. Given to ecstasies during which she led the souls of the recently dead to purgatory, and those in purgatory to paradise.

    People who knew her were divided in their opinions: she was a holy woman, touched of God, and that her actions and torments were simulations of the experiences of the souls in purgatory; she was suffering the torments of devils - or she was flatly insane. However, the prioress of Saint Catherine's convent testified that no matter how bizarre or excessive Christina's reported actions, she was always completely obedient to the prioresses orders. Friend of Louis, Count of Looz, whose castle she visited, and whose actions she rebuked. Blessed Marie of Oignies thought well of her, and Saint Lutgardis sought her advice.

    insanity, lunatics, madness, mental disorders, mental handicaps, mental health caregivers, mental health professionals, mental illness, mentally ill people, psychiatrists, therapists

    Note from Fanny:
    0_0 0_0 Maann... I don't wanna be a lunatic... Must.. Live.. To Her Standard, but please keep me sane.. *Pray-pray-pray

    Permalink - a0z0ra @ 12:50 PM  |   0 comments

    Saturday, September 13, 2003

    Tentang ICF, IF or whatever it is 

    "We are Christians, non-denomination group focusing on building personal relationship with Christ"

    Okay then... it shouldn't be dangerous. Saya pikir. Dan saya juga feel secure ketika melihat ada beberapa orang di sana yang saya temui di gereja saya.
    Then it really is non-denomination. Anyone who believe in Christ.

    I love them. I really love them. They've been there since I was in Tucson. I've been through all kinds of temptations to leave them, included the harsh one (some fundamentalist Video that attack my unique Christian Faith) and I survived (Thanks to Andrew, actually). I even know lots of my Faith because of this harsh event. I know the differences between my church and most of their church, and I respect both sides. There are just some differences that - only God knows why - will never be resolved even though both sides have tried. I made my decision, I will stay in my church for the rest of my life, through good times and bad times such as these days.

    Now that I finally really feel secure about my unique Christian Faith, I made a vow not too long ago. My friends, they are the one that brought me into this state. I feel obliged to keep growing with them.
    As long as I'm in Tucson, I will not leave them even though they might as well hate me or something.

    Slowly but sure, those friendly faces started to disappear from my church.

    It really makes me sad. I cannot blame that my church is very old and boooring. Is it because the other church's attraction are too hard to resist? Again, only God knows why. But surely, I feel somehow more lonely, now it doesn't look like a non-denomination to me anymore.

    Permalink - a0z0ra @ 10:20 PM  |   0 comments

    Friday, September 12, 2003

    Life is soo good nowadays.. 

    Bangun > jem 10. Kerja paling pagi jem 11:30. Ambil kelas cuman 2, satu di Pima. Kerja dua tempat, satu $ 8.75 yang satu lagi $ 10.00 (Duiit.. duiiit... $$$$$). So far kerja gak ada masalah besar, sekolah juga oke. Makanan terjamin. Rumet balik Oktober, jadi apartment otomatis milik saya. Doi jarak jauh (2 jem nyetir) jadi serasa single mendadak.. (Diplototin ama yang disono). Kesehatan oke, sosial ok, spritual ok, hub ama sodara juga ok. Baru beli CD-nya The Carpenters lagi.

    (Singing src="Top_of_the_world" artist="The Carpenters")
    I'm on the.. top of the world, looking.. down on creation
    and the only explanation I caan fiiindd....
    is the loove... that I foound.. ever since you've been aroound..
    Your love's put me at the top.. of the woorld..

    Permalink - a0z0ra @ 1:20 AM  |   0 comments

    Tuesday, September 09, 2003

    The Carpenters 

    Ada lagu2 Carpenters yang ok gak, selain yang ini?

    1) Yesterday Once More
    2) Mr Postman
    3) Maybe It's U
    4) We've only just begun
    5) Top of the world
    6) Close to you (They long to be)

    Mengapa... mengapa... kok kayak nyokap2 nih jadi dengerin oldies ^_^;

    Permalink - a0z0ra @ 10:18 PM  |   0 comments

    Thursday, September 04, 2003

    Lebih jadi cewe 

    Tuhan, jadikanlah saya cewe yang lebih halus, lebih sopan, lebih tata krama, lebih chic, lebih rapi, lebih feminine, lebih humble, lebih mudah tersenyum dan menawarkan kata-kata yang manis, juga lebih doyan masak selaen aer dan indomie.

    Bisa gak ya? Bisa gak ya? *Hopeful starry eyes

    Permalink - a0z0ra @ 1:33 AM  |   0 comments

    Kebanyakan denger lagu cinta argh.. 

    Jaman ABG udah lewat mustinya, tapi kok rasanya kepengen balik lagi ya? Kali ini kepengennya sih SMA campur (Sanur: dendam membara) biar mungkin aja seru kayak SMP dulu.

    Hmm.. saya udah tua juga ya? Kalo udah kepala dua harusnya musti ngapain? Bae2 sama mertua (grr...) atawa masih plirak-plirik kiri-kanan? Kepengen naksir2an lagi sih, walaupun udah gak umurnya lagi (Ah.. sok tua kau).

    Kata ortu sih bikin temen aja banyak2, jodoh takkan lari gunung dikejar, kalo sudah jodoh mah pastinya ketemu juga.. barangkali ada orang lain (Arghh... godaan man!). No.. no..

    Mendingan mikirin hal2 abstrak dulu lah.. yang kayak gitu bisa jadi setan kedua.. Bahaya..

    Permalink - a0z0ra @ 12:41 AM  |   0 comments

    Tuesday, September 02, 2003

    Arief Budiman 

    Arrrghhh.. malu2 *blushing* Masa gak bisa kenal? Ini orang jago banget... PHd in Sociology, Harvard University (!!!) Denger2 mantan anak CC.. Sekarang prof di University of Melbourne. Keterangan lebih lanjut di:

    Arief Budiman

    Permalink - a0z0ra @ 10:01 PM  |   0 comments

    Pulang? Tidak Pulang? 

    Memang bukan lagi saatnya menyinggung sentimen anti TiongHoa etcetera
    Kalau bicara soal iman dan tanggung jawab kepada Tuhan, karena Tuhan tidak lihat ras dan gender

    Tapi kalau ingat nasib saudara saya para perempuan TiongHoa yang diperkosa
    Saya bergidik dan menggeleng-geleng berusaha hilangkan semua pikiran yang kurang hoki
    dan bisa jadi penghalang cinta sebelah tangan saya

    Tapi keringat dingin terus mengucur di waktu malam
    Akan pikiran yang paling mengganggu semua perempuan TiongHoa Indonesia
    Kalaupun kita nanti pulang ke Indonesia
    Dan hal buruk itu terjadi lagi, apakah kita lagi-lagi hoki?

    Sebab diantara mereka, huaren ladies, ada yang mulutnya berbusa juga sebut nama Tuhan
    Sebelum akhirnya Tuhan serahkan mereka ke para serigala

    Saya masih bayi, saudara-saudara
    Yang hobinya ngoceh ngalor-ngidul kurang sopan kurang logika

    Tapi ini saya ingat dan saya rasakan: diskriminasi itu menyakitkan

    Setan kita untuk pergi pulang
    Adalah tidak berani terima resiko bahwa ada kemungkinan besar kita diserang lagi
    dan rasa enggan untuk dicoel pantatnya dan diteriakin "Amoy"
    Ataupun menjadi korban sopir taksi yang hobinya nyasarin orang dan nafsu birahi berlebihan

    (Dang it! Lebih baik saya ke Singapura, Jepang, Cina, Taiwan, Filipina bahkan Malaysia! Mengapa Indonesia? bisikan mengalir: Stay here - You'll be safe and still doing something for God)

    Kita di sini hadir bawa luka yang tidak kelihatan karena ditutup dengan foya dan hura.
    Berusaha tersenyum meringis kalau dibentak karena kurang perhatian dengan Indonesia

    Tapi film hitam-putih berputar di batin, tentang pahitnya hidup sebagai minoritas
    tanpa kekuatan dan perisai, sungguh lemah

    Saya kadang ingin membumi, bukan hidup dalam idealisme, saudara
    Saya juga suka hidup di udara, melayang-layang dan penuh gairah seperti yang diberitakan
    Tapi hidup itu soal bernapas dan makan juga, rutinitas yang utama
    Akan komunikasi dengan Tuhan juga rutinitas yang cenderung bisa bosan dan cepat lupa

    Rasanya lebih gampang baca berita dan buku soal atheis jadi believer dari dunia yang sama, dunia para orang yang bisa makan dan dengar musik yang diinginkan
    Daripada cari tahu soal mereka yang diperkosa, kelaparan dan hidup digerogoti tikus dan kecoa
    Karena kita menggigil ketakutan, melihat betapa besarnya kita dikarunia
    dan betapa berdosanya kita untuk tidak membagi karunia

    Benar-benar suatu siksaan untuk berpikir bahwa kita akan bernasib seperti mereka, para suci
    Yang kepala dipenggal, salib terbalik, perut dikeluarkan, dibakar hidup-hidup, digas

    Siksaan besar ketika kita berusaha jujur dan akhirnya menangis
    Bahwa memang kita dipanggil untuk hidup seperti mereka, hidup yang menderita
    Bukannya hidup dengan rumah mewah makan restoran bergizi tinggi dan parti-parti
    (Dan minggu ke gereja dengan lighting yang alhamdulilah! bagai teater saja dan musik yang bujubuneng! Laksana konser rock saja)

    Tapi lihat! Salib para suci adalah salibnya Yesus yang Tergantung dan meninggal. Salib dia yang dikhianati dan mati sengsara. Penderitaan adalah panggilan hidup.

    Permalink - a0z0ra @ 7:20 PM  |   0 comments

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