Is it me, the damn proud girl, or is it a combination of my background life, my interest in religion and the Mute One, and everything else that they called it "Holy Spirit?"
I'm very lazy if it comes to reading Bible. I don't like reading it. I have two or three nearby, and even I have a mini-version one in my purse. But it's just there's no passion to read it.
I have this curse of longing to do something for someone. It showed up nearly every goddamn day I breath. But I just a loser, a manipulator, an asocial and useless-for-nothing person.
I can't even make people happier or makes a good jokes, not a sarcastic one.
The only good thing for me to do is make them even sadder. Yeah. Just like they need more of it, really.
I want to be resourceful. I want to be funny. I want to make people happy. But how can I make people happy if I cannot make myself feel that way? My eyes is the mirror of sadness which is another curse of mine. I feel like I want to blame the Mute One for the curse.
I cannot play with verses in the bible. Sorry for not as religious as those people. I want to. Really. I kinda tried, but probably I'm just still a goddamn proud girl which is destined to be depressed for the rest of her life. And to think of it, I don't have what it takes to feel that desperate.
God help me, will ya! Just another sad little spoiled brat crying up high just to hear her mama's voice.
"Damn it! I need some rest" Mama's sleepy eyes trying to argued. Perhaps?
a0z0ra @ 12:38 AM  |