My identities:

1) Catholic
Ultimate hard decisions should be based on this priority. I believe that most of their teachings are well-proven and contains the truth about the blueprint of human souls. Challenges & temptations will always be there. When you die you shall be ready to explain. It is a strong and persistent belief that last for generations.

2) Wife
Wife of Just2it. Alongside priority #1, what God has unite shall not be broken by man.
"to have and to hold for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, until death do us part."

3) Daughter
Daughter of my amazing parents who brought me up well and best to their skills & knowledge.
(Also a daughter-in-law)

4) Sister
Sister of a social lady, from whom I learnt a lot about speaking up, and whom I really look up to.

5) Friend
Friend of many people I encounter in my life. I shall enrich their lives, fill one another with wisdoms, knowledge and most importantly, love them the way God intended.

6) Fellow human
Fellow human of the society in which I live. I shall be a good citizen of humanity, a kind stranger to those in need. I shall honor and obey the laws.

Labels: personal

Permalink - a0z0ra @ 10:34 PM  |   4 comments

- Why is it that I always look concerned all the time?
- Promise myself to eat healthier this year
- Colorado winter vacation was great, but too cold. Snowboard twice, I can do toe-side now :) Wanna go to Vail & Aspen on my next CO visit!
- Quality, not quantity

Labels: random

Permalink - a0z0ra @ 11:27 PM  |   1 comments

She looks happy. But Facebook is a public thingie, so of course you put your best face in the public.

Am I happy? I'm very lucky in a sense that I get to experience living and earning decent money in US. At the expense of what?

Unwillingness to change from an Indonesian point of view - even if married to a non-Indonesian - really is a personal issue that needs to be addressed quickly.

I'm not in Indonesia anymore.

Permalink - a0z0ra @ 9:45 PM  |   4 comments

In the end, really, I'm an eternal student
Every time I thought I understand something, there comes a point where I realize I don't really know anything

So what's the point? Knowledge keep changing overtime
It is harder to keep up with it. I'll just do my best to make use of what I have and what I can improve on.

Especially regarding people. When I thought I could figure someone out, it turned out that I was wrong. My knowledge of these dynamic freewill creature was always at 30% or less.

Also, yourself can be a very hard person to figure out. Sometimes I stand in the mirror and find a stranger stare back at me. What does she want? The heart knows what it wants, it has a mind of its own and never can be tamed with strong will alone.

What feels like forever right now may only last seconds in the future. Unpredictable. So is this lamentation.

Labels: personal

Permalink - a0z0ra @ 9:47 PM  |   2 comments

In absence of parental or older authority figures, a group of friends are doomed if they're not willing to
- listen and learn from each other
- help each other
- most importantly, correct one another

After all, we're there not just for the fun of it, but to witness each other's lives as we're getting older and hopefully, wiser.

Labels: friendship, thoughts

Permalink - a0z0ra @ 11:34 AM  |   0 comments

- I am obsessed with my new phone - Motorola Droid
- Arizona trip is coming... looking forward to good fellowship (or sleepless nights)
- New full-time project is coming soon... mixed feeling but being busy is always good in this kind of economy
- Lately my tolerance level of trying out new stuff and experience has increased exponentially - great for my personal development
- Time flies - don't waste time since it is the most precious thing. Once it is gone you can't have it back

Labels: personal

Permalink - a0z0ra @ 12:14 AM  |   1 comments

Permalink - a0z0ra @ 8:03 PM  |   0 comments

I looked back and saw my former self standing there behind me, in the past, looking at me in the present.

She knew that I would be able to do it if I want to - and I did. Perseverance was the keyword - and a lofty portion of thick skin prescribed.

As I walk forward, I see my future self standing there, waiting for me to catch up with her. I see her - a strong woman, wisdom in her hands, no longer controlled by fear (for only the wise fear the Lord).

Her ghost is way passed and her shadows are no more.

Labels: personal

Permalink - a0z0ra @ 1:08 AM  |   2 comments

My happiest moment didn't happen in Indonesia. My most memorable moment didn't occur there too. The most beautiful place I've seen wasn't in Indonesia. The warmest hug I didn't receive from Indonesians. The most beautiful sky can't be seen from Indonesia.

The love I feel for that country is forced, a result of years of indoctrination agenda by the desperate regime, trying to instill an impossible attraction to a country that has many potentials but no luck.

No luck, mind you, no freaking luck.

Then, why the intense longing? I often said to myself before I sleep.

I dream the happiest dreams in the imagination land far far away. The blue sky from heaven is making love to the turquoise sea. To feel the air and smell the sand in my feet. My hands are reaching to the faces I recognize, those who I care deeply. The people were all pretty and friendly. The laughters and heartfelt conversations follow me and I couldn't help but closing my eyes, smiles all around.

Then, as with the troubling nature of dreams that have to end, I wake up abruptly - to feel the stabbing pain in my chest as I struggle to catch a cold, cold air in the land that offers thousands of opportunities but no heartfelt warmth.

That land I called Indonesia never exist. My beautiful photoshopped postcard. I was never there, and probably never will.

Labels: Indonesia

Permalink - a0z0ra @ 1:27 AM  |   6 comments

With so many brainiacs vow their hearts out dedicated to you, Indonesia, don't fail them now. Failure is no longer an option.

Labels: Indonesia

Permalink - a0z0ra @ 11:14 PM  |   1 comments