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A0Z0RA   BLOGGIN
 
siapa?

Nama:Ask me! a0z0ra[at]gmail.com
Suku: Tiong Hoa
Agama: Kristen Katolik
Ras: Mongol
Adat-Istiadat: ikut orang tua
Hobi: denger musik, baca macem2, nulis macem2, nongkrong bareng temen, mendalami iman Kristiani.
Harusnya: pulang Indo, nulis macem2, kerja wartawan budaya, bina keluarga sejahtera, ikutan nongkrong bareng Romo Sandyawan dkk, ikut2 politik buat angkat derajat orang Tiong Hoa dalam hukum.
Ternyata: terdampar di San Diego CA USA, hedon dan hedon dan hedon...
Jadinya: merenungi hidup segan mati tak hendak dengan nulis2 blog



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    Friday, September 07, 2018

    What Juliet should have said to Romeo 

    This life, this temporary life
    Aren't you glad we are able to meet?  Let's wait for some more lifetimes so we can fulfill our destiny.  In the meantime, can't we be friends?


    Permalink - a0z0ra @ 11:34 PM  |   0 comments

    Thursday, July 26, 2018

    Newly accredited, now what? 

    Huge milestone.  Then what?

    I'm still hungry, restless, but no longer resent this burden.  I'll go on.


    Permalink - a0z0ra @ 10:05 PM  |   0 comments

    Sunday, July 22, 2018

    May very well end in tears 

    This very well be ended in tears, O dearest, O loveliest.  You do know that. 

    It maybe my insanity or my Lord actually told me that this won't end well.  I'll be the one Die Trying.

    I hate it.  But eventually I know I'll accept it.  For now, My Dearest, My Loveliest, accept that your one and only will be a major side-eye collectors.  If we are to be rich by the number of that being given, we should be a gazillionaire.  But Alas, no market demand in that.  We're cash-flow negative since we're paying the pride price.  Eventually it will drop to zero.  Sorry.  My bad.

    Why me?  Why do I do this?  I hate you my Lord.  With purest hate that can possibly exist in this dying world.  Why not them?  They're better looking.  They're smarter.  They're richer.  They're luckier.

    Little by little, I'm left with no pride.  And you, my Lord, still kept the blood flowing, this heart still beating, the rage is still on, ever increasing chips on my shoulder. Still walking here, same old dusty shoes.  Still showing this face.  Everyday facing the same enemy staring back in the mirror - older wearier eyes, thinner hair, more wrinkles. 

    For who? Nam qui?  Para que?

    Dearest, Loveliest, is it for you?  The ideal that never exist.  He may have been one of Camille Claudel's broken statues - once lovingly crafted "by my naked hand" - she said.  Shattered to pieces by her own naked hand again.

    Darkness maybe my friend.  Darkness never a good friend for ladies.  Not for human consumption.  Ladies should be good, full of light, warmest creature, full of prayer, never lost in hope.  Never question.  Always need to forget.  Forget the Lord never help the mother with 7 sons in Maccabees.  Also got to pretend Maryknoll Sisters ever exist and suffer in El Salvador - apparently there exist no savior.

    But my heart knew, this is a cruel God we're talking about.  And we're slave to his ideal.  Thus obey, my people, until the day end.  We're in this together.


    Permalink - a0z0ra @ 11:20 PM  |   0 comments

    Monday, July 16, 2018

    In pursuit of perfection 

    Gautama, that guy, said life is suffering, so control your expectation and be happy!

    So I say, sureee be happy but why people flock to countries which put high expectations on them (and thus.... can correlate to high suicides)?

    I say, more than happiness, people are drawn to pursuit of perfection.  Get a litttllee bit closer to God, or being GOD.  In your Niche.  Choose your niche.  SEO it. Build Social Media followings.  Ok I digress.


    Permalink - a0z0ra @ 12:22 PM  |   0 comments

    Monday, April 23, 2018

    Random Musing, been a while! 

    I can't recall when exactly I stopped being confused and melancholic.  All I am right now is a mixture of rage and blissful existence.  Perhaps I have absorbed some US of A's air that's thick of sense of entitlement in my lung.  YESSSHHH I slowly and surely become one of those crazy entitled Asian chicks that have forgotten her FOB root!

    Why should we give the next generation all the fun?  Why should we cover our head in shame and be modern-day slave just because we were unfortunate enough to be born outside US of A?  Why Should I Wait to Live Precariously Through My Sons - If I Can Try And Do It Myself? 

    Common Immigrant wisdom story always be - First generation build the foundation, Second generation scale it, Third one maintain it.  Means, I should shut up and work, be obedient, and most importantly position & push my sons so they can study-study-study to their Ivy League destiny.

    To hell with that.  If my sons want to go being all baadd, leading an underground movement to topple the government or be a drug kingpin, as long as they do it in style and pour their hearts so they can be best of the best, I'm all out for it. 


    Permalink - a0z0ra @ 7:59 PM  |   0 comments

    Monday, February 12, 2018

    Asian Pride? Perhaps a curse 

    I swear to you, I will not
    lose this muscle that we've acquired in blood and sweat
    for generations, its gut coded in our gene

    Survive! Thrive! Damn it. 


    Permalink - a0z0ra @ 8:33 PM  |   0 comments

    Tuesday, January 23, 2018

    Might as well declare it my soundtrack of the year 

    All the shine of a thousand spotlights
    All the stars we steal from the night sky
    Will never be enough
    Never be enough
    Towers of gold are still too little
    These hands could hold the world but it'll
    Never be enough
    Never be enough


    Permalink - a0z0ra @ 11:00 PM  |   0 comments

    Saturday, December 02, 2017

    Beautiful 

    Beautiful == Brown eyes that transcends time


    Permalink - a0z0ra @ 7:34 PM  |   0 comments

    Wednesday, October 11, 2017

    Higher Calling 

    Truth which transcends this life, you must heed

    Perfection that is visible to you, you must unveil

    There's that line, if you follow, it will lead somewhere, when you believe, it will be followed by those who understand.


    Permalink - a0z0ra @ 5:04 PM  |   0 comments

    Sunday, September 24, 2017

    The Muse 

    Words cannot contain you


    Permalink - a0z0ra @ 11:24 PM  |   0 comments

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