I am surprised. Being a Stay At Home Mother - which I intend to do for a year - is kinda fun. Playing with a baby isn't as difficult as it seems.

Looking at his giant eyes that adore you so much is very addicting.

All this time I didn't think I fit to be a mother. But now I have changed into quite a nurturing one. I exclusively breastfeed Baby A and hopefully so for a year. So far it has been 3 successful months.

However, having a baby change your social life. Single friends would probably don't understand the challenge of having a baby and will blankly stare at you if you are telling them stories about your baby. Friends with babies would not suddenly warm up to you.

It is kinda lonely. But I'm having the best time of my life with baby A. Don't grow up so soon!

Labels: baby, social

Permalink - a0z0ra @ 12:51 AM  |   1 comments

Baby A is sleeping soundly in my bedroom. I missed writing, so here it is. This is not even a haiku, but a start nonetheless.

Labels: baby, writing

Permalink - a0z0ra @ 11:37 PM  |   2 comments

5 months old now

I'm enjoying my escape from all things logical & the strong urge to perform :D

Labels: pregnancy

Permalink - a0z0ra @ 11:49 PM  |   5 comments

Hotels Rwanda

Excerpt: At the Roman Catholic Church in Cyangugu, 1,500 parishioners were killed. Seven thousand Seventh Day Adventists were killed at their church in Mugonero. One pastor, according to Philip Gourevitch’s book We Wish to Inform You That Tomorrow We Will Be Killed with Our Families, told a congregant, “You must be eliminated. God no longer wants you.” Both priests and nuns alike were found guilty not only of turning a blind eye but also of assisting in the actual killing. In Nyange, Father Athanase Seromba first helped usher his Tutsi parishioners into the church, then worked side by side with militiamen who threw grenades through the open windows. Prior to coming, I had read that 4,000 people had been killed at the church in Kibuye alone, but when we went to see for ourselves, the plaque put the figure at 11,400.

My take: Another reminder that the Church isn't infallible. Also, could it be that living in such proximity with the wildlife can alter a nation's view on the frailty of human life - as if it holds the exact same value as other animals? Maybe they'd think killing humans are the same as killing baboons.

Labels: article

Permalink - a0z0ra @ 12:06 PM  |   1 comments

He has a smile on his face, a knife on his right hand, and ready to stab you anytime when you're not ready.

In some part of the world, he could be considered a smart man.

I'm longing to die before the inevitable event occur; one where such view is widely accepted.

Labels: reflection

Permalink - a0z0ra @ 4:57 PM  |   1 comments

Maintain the balance, dear me, so the world won't collapse
The limbo is suffocating and I can't wait to wake from my dream
But it's still a long time, decades to come

Am I still in my youth? Surely not. But yet this feels like forever. My right foot is out there but my left foot is reconsidering.

Labels: ambiguity, dream

Permalink - a0z0ra @ 11:50 PM  |   1 comments

What I might have loved about the past may only be a frozen point in time. That day, that hour, the people at that particular time.

Now that time has passed, people have changed, an attempt to recreate the past may be futile.

The only possible action is to accept that it is the past that you can't reclaim again. Be grateful for it. Keep in touch with people of the past, talked about those days, the nostalgic moments. Then move on.

Labels: past, personal

Permalink - a0z0ra @ 12:48 AM  |   1 comments

Really, aside from a basic need to cover yourself, it has evolved to a larger meaning: to express yourself.

Not that expressing yourself need to go only through fashion, but in this damn noisy & overcrowded world, it certainly helps.

For some, they only need to see guidance from famous figures: models, celebrities, cool friends. This means imitating. They will train their eyes through the Medias and obey whatever it is that the Medias dictated to them.

But for the designers, to lead fashion means a lot more: they have to dig deeper and put reasons behind their design decisions.

Which is why (supposedly) we put more values into expensive brands. We pay for their guidance so we don't have to put time thinking about it.

But really, especially for Asian people, it is never about this value that attracts people to buy. It is the blatant fact of status snobbery (Gee! Look at how expensive her bag is!), even if it looks like crap.

Labels: fashion

Permalink - a0z0ra @ 10:54 PM  |   3 comments

Labels: commercial

Permalink - a0z0ra @ 9:47 PM  |   2 comments

Scent of summer is thick, the scent of sands in my feet, the salty water and the sunscreen. And the sun, the hot scorching sun, eager to send forth his rays to touch me. Dangerously sexy, will I oblige?

It is still 50 degrees outside. But oh the temptations of oncoming summer. Who won't be sweaty with anticipation?

The girls will be there with their brown/blonde thick wavy hair, wearing the bikinis, will pass by you as the guys, behind sunglasses, will savor the visions. They will pretend not too care but their skipping hearts tell otherwise.

Surfers will go test the waters, skim the ocean, dare the waves. They will fall, then they will rise again.

Couples will devour the splendor of golden rainbows, as the sun sets in California. A melancholic sounds from a guitar someone play in the background. Sips of wine and chatty conversation from loved ones.

Where will I be? I'll be beside you.

Labels: personal

Permalink - a0z0ra @ 11:49 PM  |   1 comments